The tale of Quasi Tato: The hunchback fry

Just a pinch under 8 inches!!! I know you're all probably wondering, is that ruler to scale? And yes it is indeed, and here's proof:

I guess you'll just have to take it on faith that i don't have two trick rulers.

My fryend, who i'll call Quasi Tato (he had a hunched back), came on the side, along with a second side of verbal abuse from the food runner who found it hard to believe two people at the same table would order the same dish.

Quasi Tato made the journey from the restaurant to his final resting place, my office trash can, via the Metro. He rode in homeless luxury, a cardboard to-go box, and made the trip safe and soundless. No, "Are we there yet?"'s. No, "What? Am I not good enough for you?"'s.

Unfortunately, Quasi Tato, when receiving his final measurement for the guiness book of Xtreme Fries, broke his back. (He never really had a chance--he was born from the outer layer of a large female potato, hence the hunched back.)

His life was cut short, and he was hunched. He never married. He died lonely and cold. But at least he's not being ravaged by my stomach enzymes like his fryends! Although his life went down the "tubes" quickly, Quasi died with dignity. And other stuff in my garbage can.