One Helluva Ride

I guess I can see how cult leaders may mistake comets for inter-galactic space trains. "Kill yourself, hop on board and experience the ride of your afterlife!" I guess that would make shooting stars inter-galactic high-speed space trains. Wonder why they don't take one of them instead? Maybe they're in no hurry...TO GET TO HELL!!!

No more Free Willy!

If everyone started charging money or favors for sex, would prostitution still be illegal?

I wonder if there are prostitutes on other planets? And if so, do they accept U.S. dollars? Just curious.

Cut me some slack!

Teachers and parents always say never to run with scissors, but i have 4 rebuttles...

ah-happens if you're in a hurry?
ah-happens if you're trying to stab someone with a lot of force?
ah-happens if you're getting chased by someone with a rock?
ah-happens if you're in a relay race that uses scissors instead of batons?

Sup!

How ya like me now, beeeotch???

If I could be any famous person, I'd be a famous person that wasn't famous yet. Then I could hit on lots of chicks and get turned down because I'm a no-good-lookin no-body, but little do they know they're turning down the next big thing!! Then I could ask them out again, and if they say "yes" I could say "psych" and wave my right hand above my right ear like I'm fixing my right side of my hair.

Inner-ear beings

If you hear voices in your head, does that mean you have inner-ears? Maybe people that have inner-ear problems are schizophrenic , although I don't see what that has to do with balance. I guess having inner-ears is less disturbing than the fact that there are PEOPLE INSIDE YOUR HEAD!! Granted they are miniature people, but disturbing nonetheless. Actually the fact that they are miniature people makes it even more disturbing. Or maybe it is a conjoined twin that never fully developed but you were joined at the brain and you are really hearing him talk/yell through his ears, because after all, they're your ears too. And the voices always convince them to do rotten acts. He probably wants you to get arrested and put in jail because then you'd feel like he does--having to share a "brain" cell with someone.

You say Unicycle, I say A-cycle

On the way to my job this morning I witnessed a rather unusual event. A young gentleman was aparently commuting to work on a unicycle. And he wasn't a clown and didn't appear to be a carnie...circus folk...nomad, you know. Just a regular guy with a rather irregular commuting tool. Then it got hit by a guy on a bicycle and became merely a seat.