Stickin' it to the bug.

Can You Find Me?? I can't even find me!!
I think it would be fun for a little while being a walking stick bug, but there are things that aren't so great too...

10. You'd have wood all the time (wait, that's good...wood=good)
9. Someone may break a little twig off of you, and that little twig is your thingee (boy)
8. Giving birth to another twig seems rather painful (girl)
7. You'd probably waste a lot of time talking to real twigs
6. You might end up petrified
5. Little people might confuse you for an actual walking stick
4. If your legs get injured, you would just become a stick
3. You might get used as kindling
2. If you have sex with a leaf bug, you may make a baby tree and he wouldn't recognize you
1. You have to be careful having sex because the friction might cause you to catch on fire.

I can't see my eyes

I never really thought about it until this past monday. I was eating lunch and I tried to see my one eye with my other eye. Couldn't do it. Then I tried looking cross-eyed. Still nothing. What a bummer. I can see my nose and tongue, but that's no fun. After all, the nose is what's getting in the way of my eyes being able to see eachother.

Orange you supposed to be orange, orange?

That is a question I posed to an orange recently while on my travels. I'm not sure if the orange heard me--possibly because he has no ears and/or possibly because he doesn't read minds--but nonetheless the question was posed (in my head). That makes me wonder...do you need ears to read minds or do you need eyes to read minds? When you read someone's mind, do you see the words like spelled out on a paper piece? Or do you hear what that person was thinking, and if so, is it his voice or your's reading it alound inside your head. If you think silently, how do you know what you're thinking? After all, you can't hear what your thinking? Do blind people have feelings?

Anyway, back to the orange. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get some of "that juice" from a street vendor that made fresh juice. He had what looked like limes and lemons, so I figured I'd get some limeade or lemon juice. She responded, "You mean ORANGE juice?" To which I replied, "Do they look like ORANGES to you?" Her cousins confirmed they were indeed non-orange oranges.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Bolivia was great! I got my hands on all sorts of bananas, and boy were they yummy. I had them in all sizes and colors. I just like me bananas any way I can get 'em. Lookie me here...I can barely get my hands around all these gerthy things!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day...

To me, St. Patrick's Day is not a day to drink and forget about all your worries. It's a day to reflect on our good friend Patrick, or PatriClaus, as BrIan and I knew him. We called him PatriClaus because he was plump (although not pleasantly, as you'll read in a second) and had a thick beard. PatriClaus was a dorm mate of ours at the good ol' grove.

When I first met PatriClaus, I thought he was about 35 and going back to school to make a better life for his wife and kid. Turns out he was 18, and the woman and child in the photo were his siblings. Whoops.

Anyway, I remember about 6 of us hacky-sacking in the 4x4 common space in our hall around 11pm one friday evening when PatriClaus stormed out of his room and said, "Why don't you all just...GO TO BED!!!" Sorry PatriClaus.

So every St. Patrick's Day, I raise up me pint of Guinness and wish everyone, "Happy St. Patrick's Day, and GO TO BED!!!"

Just in case you were wondering, this is a true story.

Doggy heaven

I know you're probably expecting a little tidbit about my travels to Bolivia, but I was just informed that a friend's dog passed away and it got me wondering...






1-are there fire hydrants or parked cars in doggy heaven?

2-do mailmen go to doggy heaven?

3-do dogs of all breeds get along in doggy heaven?

4-are there guard dogs at the gates of doggy heaven? and if so, do they receive compensation?

5-do dogs eat and poop in doggy heaven? and does it stink? and do they have to clean themselves with their tongues? or is there TP in doggy heaven?

6-do dogs hump in doggy heaven? probably not since fornication with animals is forbidden, especially when done between unwed partners.

7-is there invisible fencing in doggy heaven to keep the dogs from being enticed to the dark side with promises of "really good doggy food"?

8-will snoop dogg be accepted in doggy heaven as "one of them" or "one of us"?

9-does every dog have his day in doggy heaven?

10-is "doggy heaven" really "ygGOD heaven"?

SD

South Dakota outlawed most forms of abortion yesterday. I think this is very selfish. North Dakota was having enough problems getting attention and now the South comes and steals all the attention from them again. Bad South Dakota, bad....you've had your attention.

Public Announcement

It has been brought to my attention by some of the frequent readers of this blog that they believe that I plagiarized from a gentlemen named Dwight from NBC's "The Office". I would like to say that I did not have televisional relations with this man and any coincidence is merely that. Seriously, is oral plagiarism really a crime? I guess if this is your definition, then I am indeed guilty. To my dear Nancy, I'm sorry. You too Dwight.

Spelling Bee

I was once in a 6th grade spelling bee where myself and only one girl remained. There I was in front of the whole school with the pressure on. To my chagrin I lost when I misspelled "Failure."

El Greggo

So during the last week or two I have received phone calls during the day to my cell phone which is off during work. I've been applying to a lot of jobs lately so I get excited when I have a message from a number I don't know. So I dail into my voice mail and proceed to listen to a message of some Spanish guy rambling on for about a minute or so and then of course I delete it. This has happened twice in the last week or so. I can't help, but to wonder if this is mere coincidence with the timing of Greggo's vacation to a Spanish speaking country or if perhaps I have once again been struck by the El Greggo. Perhaps I will never know, but the Legend of El Greggo will live on.

A time for CELEBRATION!

So, it is finally Friday! And what a great day it will be. After working a full week (yes, 5 whole days), today will be a celebration... not a work day. It will be a celebration of the week ending, a celebration of cheap beer and apps, and more importantly a celebration of not having to set the alarm tomorrow.

God, I love Fridays! Bring on the Karaoke!

BSG...

So sitting here talking about BSG, has me thinking... my god we are geeks. Economists talking about Battlestar Galactica, and not just the 2004 sexy, new, modern and all around kick-ass show but the old one from the 70's also. Are we geeks, losers, nerds? Or are we just so cool that we can take a seemingly geeky sci-fi show and debate the social and economic ramifications of it? I think the latter my friend. Too bad greggo isn't here to jump in with annoying noises and non-witty reparte.

Here's hoping there is a cold cereveza in his hand right now.

Party Over Man

For those of you of the religious ilk, you know that today is Ash Wednesday. Yesterday of course was Fat Tuesday, which also happened to be National Pancake Day. An article I read today gave this explanation of lent...“some church members abstained not just from meat, but from eggs, milk, cheese, and any "fruit covered by a hard shell."” My comment to them...congratulations on abstaining from the hard shelled fruit. After all, you didn't see Jesus living it up in the desert munching down hard covered fruit. Although, it is possible that perhaps the desert simply doesn't have pineapples abound. After all, I didn't see any pineapples in the Passion and if it's not there, it can't be true.

Lost is my responsibility...

So tonight is the first new Lost since our beloved LeggoMyGreggo founder left the country to start his own adventure with learning a foreign langauge and battling the native spick-mounted hamsters (see earlier posts). In order for the founder to go on this adventure, he had to take three weeks vacation from his normal job as a government employee. I know what you're thinking....three weeks vacation...must be nice. But here's the real kicker, he's away from work for three weeks and does he ask me to cover some of his workload responsibilities while he's gone? Nope, he asks me to tape Lost and keep writing on the blog. You might think, well maybe someone else is covering for him. I can assure you this is not the case...Greggo is on vacation and will return to an empty desk. To the man who found a job to pay him to not work for three weeks....you sir...are a genius. Godspeed fighting the hamsters.